Tuesday, October 13, 2009


I've been thinking a lot about people lately.  And about our relationships as human beings.  So many people come in and out of our lives and influence us in ways that we sometimes don't even realize.  Its crazy. Right? Think about it for a minute, about all the people you have ever come in contact with throughout your entire life span.  Its sad to me that most relationships don't last.  Friends come in bunches.  I lived in 7 different houses as a kid.  I had to switch friends a lot.  But its so weird how i could be so close to so many different people, even best friends, and now have no idea what they are doing with their lives.  And even in some cases, know exactly what they are doing..but go on with life as if they were complete strangers.  Its kind of depressing.  Its like those friends that you have in your classes or at work...once school/work is over...you're no longer friends.  But it has to be like this. right? I mean, if we stayed close to every single person we've ever considered our friends...well, i don't think we'd be able to really form real lasting relationships with the people that matter the most to us.  My friends change year by year. Especially in college, moving in with new roommates really changes things... dramatically.  All of a sudden, the people i shared everything with, i never see! They have been replaced with other people because of living situations.  But then there are those people that have stayed with you for years and you know they will never leave you.  The Real friends.  I think both are important.  Everybody leaves an impact on our lives.  No matter how small.  Its like in The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons.  Was that not the theme of the movie? To point out how we are all here for a reason, and we all influence each others lives...even if we aren't in them for that long.  I think its a beautiful thing.  I've been trying to think of all of the people that have influenced me.  Its too easy to forget sometimes. 
i don't know if i'm making any sense.  i'm not really even sure why i'm awake/on my computer right now.  after a day like today, it just doesn't make sense.  I was on campus until about 8:30 pm because i had to take a test..after walking home i had to skip my soccer game (NOT something i wanted to do) because i had homework due at midnight that i hadn't started.  My back is aching like no other, i'm so so so tired, i still have a lot of homework due tomorrow, i keep almost fainting because in the middle of studying all day i forgot that humans need to EAT...and even though everything is pointing me towards my bed, here i am, typing this all out on my computer for really...no reason.  Sometimes you just gotta vent.  I apologize if this all makes zero sense, i'm sort of half asleep at the moment.

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