Saturday, October 31, 2009

lil brudders

The other day i was telling Jane about my little brothers Hunter (7) and Haydn (3) and i remembered this funny story.  It just about made my day:

(Family is sitting at the dinner table getting ready to say the prayer)

Hunter: (whispers in Haydn's ear chuckling)
Haydn: Mumbles something really fast to Hanna and starts laughing
Hanna: What did you say?
Haydn: You have pretty eyes.....(starts laughing joke)
Hunter: No! (whispers in his ear again)
Haydn: oh....PSYPE!! (starts laughing hysterically again)
Family: (Trying and failing not to laugh so we can say a prayer)

Oh. I love and miss my brothers. They make me smile. Obviously Hunter was telling Haydn to say Psych.  It kills me that Haydn thinks Hunter is the funniest person on this earth, even when he doesn't understand his 

Monday, October 26, 2009

come what may

I just watched Moulin Rouge last night.
Such a good movie.
Such a good soundtrack.

and it has one of my favorite songs in it.
Come what may.
Of course, it reminds me of Chris.  I remember after the Ensign came out with Elder Wirthlin's talk from April General conference, Chris cut out the title "Come What May, and Love It," and he sent it to me.  Cute, huh?  Come what May...I love those words.  Whether it pertains to my relationship with Chris or my daily struggles.  We can get through anything that comes our way if our love and faith are stronger.  I have the piano music to this song, I used to play it a lot.  I need to start up again.

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day 

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


I've been thinking a lot about people lately.  And about our relationships as human beings.  So many people come in and out of our lives and influence us in ways that we sometimes don't even realize.  Its crazy. Right? Think about it for a minute, about all the people you have ever come in contact with throughout your entire life span.  Its sad to me that most relationships don't last.  Friends come in bunches.  I lived in 7 different houses as a kid.  I had to switch friends a lot.  But its so weird how i could be so close to so many different people, even best friends, and now have no idea what they are doing with their lives.  And even in some cases, know exactly what they are doing..but go on with life as if they were complete strangers.  Its kind of depressing.  Its like those friends that you have in your classes or at work...once school/work is're no longer friends.  But it has to be like this. right? I mean, if we stayed close to every single person we've ever considered our friends...well, i don't think we'd be able to really form real lasting relationships with the people that matter the most to us.  My friends change year by year. Especially in college, moving in with new roommates really changes things... dramatically.  All of a sudden, the people i shared everything with, i never see! They have been replaced with other people because of living situations.  But then there are those people that have stayed with you for years and you know they will never leave you.  The Real friends.  I think both are important.  Everybody leaves an impact on our lives.  No matter how small.  Its like in The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons.  Was that not the theme of the movie? To point out how we are all here for a reason, and we all influence each others lives...even if we aren't in them for that long.  I think its a beautiful thing.  I've been trying to think of all of the people that have influenced me.  Its too easy to forget sometimes. 
i don't know if i'm making any sense.  i'm not really even sure why i'm awake/on my computer right now.  after a day like today, it just doesn't make sense.  I was on campus until about 8:30 pm because i had to take a test..after walking home i had to skip my soccer game (NOT something i wanted to do) because i had homework due at midnight that i hadn't started.  My back is aching like no other, i'm so so so tired, i still have a lot of homework due tomorrow, i keep almost fainting because in the middle of studying all day i forgot that humans need to EAT...and even though everything is pointing me towards my bed, here i am, typing this all out on my computer for reason.  Sometimes you just gotta vent.  I apologize if this all makes zero sense, i'm sort of half asleep at the moment.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Today is Chris' one year mark.
One year ago i went with him and his family to the MTC.
It was hard, but i managed to keep a happy face on. Okay, i may have started to tear up a little when i shook his hand (awkwardly) at the end after watching everyone in his family give him a big hug.  He couldn't/wouldn't look at me when he did.  But i kept it together...somehow.  I'm not really big on showing my emotions in public, it rarely happens.  But then again, this wasn't even our real goodbye.  It happened a few weeks earlier at his farewell when i flew back home.

That was only one of the many goodbyes we have said during the past three years.  Yet, love has only gotten stronger.  It's weird to think that i haven't seen, talked to,or  texted Chris in a year!  One year ago....that was my life!  I don't know how i have survived without him near.  But even though our relationship has changed its circumstances several times (together in high school, apart during college, together at home, apart during mission) the feelings haven't changed.  And that makes me SO happy.  i know that i love chris, i know that he loves me.  But right now we are putting that aside because he is currently serving a mission and I am finding myself/growing at BYU.  That is what needs to happen now.  And we have one year down, one to go!  Time is such a weird thing sometimes.

Sigh, Thats all i can write right now.

Monday, October 5, 2009


I'd like to make myself believe 
That planet Earth turns slowly 
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep 
'Cause everything is never as it seems
(When I'm asleep)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

quote of the day

"Woman was taken out of man--not out of his feet to be trampled underfoot, but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved."