Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Happiness is a choice.

I have never been so busy in my entire life.  I don't know if that statement is entirely true, but i am pretty dang busy!  For some reason i can't keep up.  I guess i just had forgotten how school really is.  Sucks. Even though in the past week and a half i have taken/am-still-studying-for 5 tests and several quizzes (i thought Finals Week was supposed to be at the end of the semester)...I've found time to be happy.
I have been focusing a lot on the negative things in my life lately.  I THOUGHT that every area in my life was suckee and too overwhelming to deal with.

Isn't it just depressing to think like that? I mean, come on. I know i have so many more blessings in my life.  I feel guilty for being such a baby.  There are so many people that have HUGE trials that still stay optimistic.  I'm going to be optimistic:

For the past few days (even though i am stressed out more than i can handle) a lot of good things have happened.
-I got a mini package from Chris with three letters and pictures in it....i hadn't heard from him since the end of July.
-I got my first letter from mike (one of my best friends/brothers from freshman year) the very next day, with two letters and a picture in it
-I got a good grade on my Calculus 2 Test! miracle.
-I MAY have picked out a major. It isn't final. But i am seriously considering it.
-i like my roommates.
-the Cowboys won (haha)
-I got to go to a devotional here at BYU and listen to Thomas S Monson.  amazing.
-I had an epiphany...what is one bad test score going to mean to me in 10 years??

these are all good things right? Happiness is a choice.  i can choose to be happy.  I can choose to look at all the good things in my life rather than the bad.  By focusing on blessings, its easier to find courage to move on and go forward.  Sure, there will be/are hard things to deal with.  But with prayer and faith i can do those things.  I know i can't do it alone.  That is the biggest blessing, that through hard times i have been able to feel the love of my Savior as he helps carry me along.  Knowing that brings true happiness.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Confessions of a Thinkaholic

I just spent the last twenty minutes writing a blog that is now nonexistent due to technical mishaps.  Don't you hate those? I do.


Anyways, I have been reading all of your blogs from a far and i figure it’s about time i join in on this little world.  I love love love people who can speak to others through writing.  You people who can pull a masterpiece out of nowhere.  Your fingers flow over the keyboard effortlessly--it’s a work of art, really, it is.

Oh. Jealousy.

I want so badly to be able to put my thoughts into words, but I have too much going on in my head at all times. Over the years I have had countless journals; they just never were written in for more than a few weeks at a time.  Its not that i have nothing to say, I just have too much to say!  It’s called ADD.  And I am not being sarcastic when I say I am a victim.  You can ask anyone who is close to me (or my doctor haha).  Especially Chris.  Writing him for the past year has been quite an adventure.  I promise he can say he has laughed a time or two when reading my letters.  Not because of a funny story, but because of how amazingly fast I can get distracted.  I tend to get off topic a lot.  Yes, I am a rambler.  Chris and I call these moments “hanna rants.”  I’m sure many of you have done those before.  But, I assure you I am the queen.

There are just so many ideas i want to express.  I AM ALWAYS THINKING.  It’s overwhelming.  It can cause me to be a very quiet person.  People who don’t know me as well think I am shy, but it’s more that I am…oh what’s the word, reflective?  I am always taking in my surroundings, deep in thought. (Although, I can be shy as well.) But because of this, I suppose people might assume I’m a loner.  Call me what you wish, I have my friends! 

is this not the cheesiest thing you have ever seen?
but it fits the topic right?

Getting back to what I was trying to say-I admire those people who bring journals/notebooks with them wherever they go.  Those people who are constantly jotting down thoughts, ideas, notes.  I want to be that person.  I want people to know what goes inside my head.

And that is why I am starting this blog.  It’s a fresh start, a new beginning, an attempt to make my thoughts, my emotions, and my life clear.  Even if no one ever reads this, this is for me.

I hope that this will last much longer than any of my previous journals.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

pure sugar

On September 16, 2006
 I was watching The Notebook and drinking rootbeer floats with a bunch of friends, 
particularly my crush: Chris Redfern.  
Later that night, Chris drove me home and asked me if I would make it official and be his girlyfriend.  
Long story short. I said yes. 
 And here I am, three years later, in love.
Here's to three years of C&H.